Tired
by Representin' All Day
Summary: Jimmy's tired. He can't sleep and his grades are dropping. And most of all, there was nothing he could do about it. JC


Jimmy was tired. As a matter of fact, he was exhausted. Jimmy hadn't had a decent bit of sleep for about a month and a half. He had dark rings under his eyes. His eyes had also lost their normal spark and now were a dull, sapphire color. He was sitting on the tree stump that was to the side of his clubhouse in the middle of a hard rain storm. The rain poured downed in heavy drops making a soft thudding sound on the ground. Jimmy's new uneven, short hair was matted to his head and over his eyes. His undershirt and shorts were soaked to the bone and clung to his skin.

He looked with agonized eyes to the lit second floor bedroom on the house across the street. He felt his heart ache as he saw a silhouette of the girl that occupied the second floor room. The 17 year old boy felt another wave of exhaustion hit him but try as he might, he couldn't get any decent form of sleep. Ever since the _**incident**_, Jimmy woke up every night from nightmares that left him covered in cold sweat. As he sat on the tree stump, he was grateful that his parents had left for the week of Spring Break. He wouldn't have been able to last if he had to hear another "What's the matter," or "Why are you acting this way," from his mother. It was also a chance to get away from the disappointed and confused glances that they showed him.

Don't get him wrong, Jimmy loved his parents. Ever since he was 13, he had gotten close to both his parents. They told each other almost everything about what happened in their lives but Jimmy just needed his space. He covered his face in his hands as the pain engulfed him at the same time the rain poured harder.

_Flashback_

_It was a month and a half ago, that's when all of it started. Jimmy and Cindy were in an argument, the worse on that they've ever had. It started of with a playful argument about who was the smarter person but naturally, it escalated into an argument that ended with the both of them regretting what they said. All Jimmy knew was that Cindy was yelling at him and he was yelling back. _

_Cindy had her fists clenched at her sides as she yelled, "Why don't you just listen for a second Neutron?! You never listen, you're always there speaking but you don't take the time to listen to anything that anyone else has to say!"_

_Jimmy snorted. "Yeah, right! I listen to people more than you do, okay Cindy. I'm not the one who's so gung ho about herself and everything else that everybody says isn't important. I might not so high and mighty, not as much as you are!"_

_Cindy took a step closer at the 6 ft. 3, boy in front of her, her face outraged. She said, "Are seriously saying that? Look at you, Mister Look-at-my-inventions. You're the one who shows off all the time and doesn't pay attention or care about anything else other than your precious inventions!"_

_Jimmy gave her a spiteful laugh before he said, "Really Cindy?! You know what I think? I think that maybe you're just jealous that __**you**__ didn't come up with any inventions yourself!"_

"_Oh, yeah Jimmy. You got me pegged. I am just so __**jealous**__ that you're stuck in the lab all day tinkering with your little tools making useless items rather hanging out with friends like people our age should be doing!" _

_Jimmy sighed angrily but before he had the chance to speak again, Cindy yelled, not really thinking about what was coming out of her mouth. "I swear Jimmy; you give me more and more reasons to hate you!"_

_Jimmy smirked and said in the same angry tone as the girl standing before him. "Oh really? Why don't you do something about it then? Instead of complaining, do something!"_

_What Cindy said was something that neither of them expected to come out of her mouth, "Fine then Jimmy! We're done. Over."_

_With that she stormed out of the clubhouse leaving Jimmy standing there shocked and hurt looking at the spot that she was once standing on. _

_The days after that, Jimmy was miserable. He started having nightmares. Majority of the nightmares was of him and Cindy in a room, but after a few minutes Cindy started fading away. Jimmy could still feel her presence but he knew that she wasn't really __**there. **__It was like a demon sent from his personal hell came and sent him those dreams to slowly eat away a tiny piece of his heart at a time. Jimmy would wake up with cold sweat covering his body. He gave up trying to sleep after each episode; he knew there was no chance of him getting any sleep. _

Along with the lack of sleep, Jimmy's grades began to falter. He wasn't making his perfect A's anymore. His grades at first just changed by half a percent but as the month progressed the changes became extreme. By the time he got his progress report in the middle of the quarter, his grade, from A's became C's and D's. It wasn't like he stopped trying. No, it was never that. It was the fact that whenever he took a test, his mind went completely blank. He knew that he knew the answer but his brain wasn't coming up with anything. Every test, the best that Jimmy could do was guess.

_It was Friday, two and a half weeks since the break up. Jimmy was in his Advanced Physics class. The students were taking their Midterm Exam which would count as 40 percent of their grade. The tests were passed out and there was an hour's worth of class time to finish it. Jimmy picked up his pencil and turned his sheet over, already estimating how fast he could finish his test. As soon as he got one look at the problems his brain shut down. The questions, to which he already should've known the answer to, seemed impossible. That's when Jimmy did the last thing that he ever thought he would do. He guessed. By the time the hour was up, Jimmy still wasn't finished with his test. He felt a wave of panic come over him as Dr. Gamble walked down the aisle asking for people's tests. _

_When Dr. Gamble made it to his desk, Jimmy struggled to finish the remaining questions left. He heard his teacher cough and say in his rough voice, "Mr. Neutron, your test if I may?"_

_Jimmy sighed angrily and said in a low tone, "Sir, I haven't, I haven't…finished the test yet. I need more time to do it."_

_Dr. Gamble's eyebrows shot up in surprise but other than that his face revealed no other form of surprise. He said in a hard tone, "I'm sorry James, but you get the same time and the same chance as everyone else. Now give me your test!"_

_Jimmy growled silently and reluctantly handed Gamble the test. As soon as the bell rang, Jimmy grabbed his stuff and stormed out of the room before anybody else. _

_The next day, the tests were graded and were handed back. Jimmy sat in his chair, his fists on top his desk, clenched. Dr. Gamble walked slowly down the aisle, handing out the test to the other students. From the corner of his eye his saw Cindy, sitting next to him, looking at him with a confused expression. When Dr. Gamble went to his seat he handed him his test. Jimmy put his hands on top of the desk and clenched his fists. Dr. Gamble smirked at Jimmy before placing his test on the top of the desk and walking back to the front of the classroom. _

_Jimmy took a deep breath and flipped over his test. On the heading, there was a big red F encircled around it. From the seat next to him, he heard Cindy take in a sharp breath as she looked at his grade. Jimmy growled softly but said nothing to Dr. Gamble. _

_The teacher was looking at Jimmy with a triumphant look on his face as he said smugly, "Is there a problem Mr. Neutron? I double checked each and every one of those tests and the grade that is on them is accurate."_

_Jimmy took a deep breath to try and calm himself down, "But sir, this test counts as 40% of my grade. This drops my A to a barely passing C. __**I**__ can't have that; __**I **__need to bring this grade up."_

"_Well," Dr. Gamble smirked. "I guess that's something that you'll have to figure out for yourself Mr. Neutron. It's not my fault that you are not concentrating enough in class. You don't think I see you gazing off in space? That is not my problem. You are in your senior year in high school; we don't do babysitting around here."_

_Jimmy gritted his teeth but remained silent. He knew that arguing with his Physics teacher was pointless. _

_When class was over, Jimmy quickly got out of his seat and headed for the door. Before he walked through, Jimmy took one more glance at his test before throwing it in the trash. Jimmy walked to his locker and put his stuff in and grabbed his things for his 8__th__ Period class. It wasn't long before anger got the best of Jimmy. He dropped his stuff and slammed both of his fists on the door of his locker. He let out another angry sigh and leaned his forehead against the locker. He stayed like that for a few more minutes until his trance was broken by the sharp sound of the late bell. _

_Jimmy quickly jerked his head up and cursed. He picked up his stuff and headed down the empty hallway to his Geography class. When he got there, he saw his teacher Mr. Corvick standing by the door waiting for him. The rest of the class was looking at them. "Do you have a pass Mr. Neutron?"_

_Jimmy looked down in defeat. "No sir, I don't have a pass."_

_Mr. Corvick looked at the rings under Jimmy's eyes and the way his shoulders slumped down. Instantly, he was filled with pity. It wasn't a secret to the teachers that since Jimmy and Cindy had broken up, Jimmy started to break down. He said sympathetically though his voice remained firm. "Well this is the fourth day in a row that you've been late James. You are one of my best students but be that as it may, the same rules still apply to you. I've said at the beginning of the school year that if you're late to my class 4 times, you stay in the hallway and you receive two days of detention."_

_Jimmy remained silent although his posture became rigid and his fists were clenched. _

_Mr. Corvick then said in a low tone so that only Jimmy could hear. "Jimmy, I don't know what's going on in your life right now but not only are you suffering but your school work is also suffering. All the teachers that teach you this year are all saying that your grades are slipping and that you are falling behind. We all agree that if this keeps up, we will have to force you to repeat the 12__th__ grade again. I don't want to do that. You, James, are my smartest and favorite student. If you need anyone to talk to with your problems, there are guidance counselors that are more than willing to listen."_

_Jimmy shook his head and let out a spiteful laugh. "I don't have problems. I haven't been getting a lot of sleep because I've been working late on my inventions. Nor do I need to talk to counselors about them because the chances of them understanding are slim."_

Jimmy looked up from his hands when he heard a door open and close. From across the street he saw Cindy on her front porch. He continued to stare at her as she walked in the rain across the street until she stopped in front of him, thoroughly soaked. She said in a soft tone, "Jimmy you've been sitting here for almost 3 hours. You should go inside or you're going to get sick or something. It's not healthy to stay out in the rain for long periods of time."

Jimmy looked down and snorted in anger. "Not healthy? No, Cindy. This is not healthy but let me tell you something, if I do get sick, I'll be better off than I would be now. The thing that's not healthy is the fact that I haven't had a decent amount of sleep in about a month and a half." He paused to take a deep breath, and then he said in defeat. "You know, you would think that I should have moved on from us but the thing is every day that passes brings me closer to breaking down. I hate it."

Cindy felt tears coming to her eyes when she saw Jimmy's shoulders slumped down, his agonized eyes searching her face. She then said in the same defeat tone, "What do you hate?"

Jimmy stood up, and took one small step closer to her but still leaving a big, unwanted gap. He looked at Cindy and couldn't have pictured anything more beautiful than the soaked girl in front of him. He longed to reach his hands out to engulf his big hands over her small ones. Longed to bury his face in the crook of her neck or in her hair. Then he whispered so softly that she strained to hear him. "I hate how, because of the nightmares, my grades are dropping. I hate the break up that started the nightmares. Most of all, I hate the fact that, no matter how hard I try not to, I'm still in love with you. Am still head over heels in love and that's what's dragging me down. I _**want**_ and _**need**_ you but I can't have you. That's what I hate most.

"You would think that this beating thing in my chest should stop fluttering every time that I see you, but that's not the case. I hate it!"

Jimmy's words broke down the wall that was keeping Cindy's tears in her eyes. She started crying and without thinking she rushed to the only place that could provide her comfort. She ran to Jimmy's arms and pressed her face into his chest.

The boy froze in surprise but he soon wrapped his arms around the girl's waist pulling her closer despite the pain it was causing him. He said in a hoarse voice as he gently and reluctantly pulled away. Cindy looked at him with hurt and a little understanding in her eyes. "We shouldn't…. Cindy. I…I won't be able to take it if you're like that and I'm there… I'm not going to be able to be strong enough to take the pain if this isn't real. As much as I like to think so, I'm not. I can't bear it, my heart's broken enough, it doesn't need to go into a shredder."

Jimmy turned to go away, but before he could Cindy jumped into his arms and pressed her lips hard against his. Despite his mind screaming for him to pull away, his body did the exact opposite. He pulled Cindy closer and pressed her against him. He pressed his lips on hers with the same sense of urgency.

Cindy wrapped her arms around Jimmy's neck and smiled into the kiss as she cherished the feel of him lift her up and wrap his arms around her waist. After what seemed like forever, the two broke apart, they found themselves breathing heavier, the need for air burning in their chests. Cindy then rested her head on his heaving chest and buried her face into his soaking shirt.

She looked up to see Jimmy looking at her, his eyes still distant. She then whispered her voice rough with emotion. "Jimmy, I am so, so sorry. I didn't mean what I said during that… that time. I'm sorry that I messed up your life and that your grades are dropping. I was too proud to admit to myself that I was wrong and I was too afraid to ask for your forgiveness. I know I don't deserve to ask you this but can you please find it in you to forgive me? And I don't care how long it'll take for you to forgive me, just as long as I know that you eventually will."

Jimmy continued to stare at Cindy silently for a long moment. Cindy misinterpreted the silence as anger and felt tears threatening to come again. She started to turn away as soon as the tears ran down her face. She took two steps towards her house when she felt a strong hand wrap around her wrist, gently holding her there.

Jimmy stepped towards her and pulled her as close to him as possible, her back to his chest. He wrapped her hands around her waist and softly whispered in her ear, "Cindy, for a smart person, you can also end up pretty dumb sometimes. I've already forgiven you that first moment, that first moment I've already forgiven you. I was never mad. It was justifiable, the things that you…said.

"In some ways I appreciate that you did it." He paused when he saw her look at him with disbelief. "If you hadn't done so, then I would have never realized how much I needed you in my life to actually _**live**_ life. So thank you."

Cindy sighed in content as Jimmy rested his cheek on her hair. Then she said for the first time in almost two months, "I love you."

She felt Jimmy smile as they continued to stand in the rain, the both of them realizing that nothing more needed to be said.


End file.
